Three things your daughter wishes you knew, but will probably never tell you.

Dad, your daughter needs you.

More than anyone else, it is you who will set the course for your daughters life. She needs you. She needs your strength, your intelligence, your courage, your assertiveness, your self confidence and your leadership. 

Dad, your daughter needs you.

Here are a few things your daughter wishes that you knew. 

1. You are the most important man in her life.

Your daughters is never lukewarm in your presence. When you enter the room everything about her changes. Her eyes, her mouth, her gestures, her body language. You girl might take her mom for granted, but not you. She will light up - or she will cry. She watches you intensely. She hangs on your words. Whether you notice it or not, she is hoping for your attention, and she waits in frustration - or despair until she receives it.  She is looking for a gesture of approval, a nod of encouragement, or even simple eye contact to let her know you care. 

When she is in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. I think if as fathers we fully understood just how profoundly we can influence our daughters life, we would be terrified and possibly overwhelmed by the weight of it. Boyfriends, brothers, and even husbands can't shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority that she gives no other man. You are the most important man that she knows. 

2. You are her first love

Your daughter identifies easily with her mother, but you are a mystery to her. You are her first love. Because of this the early years of your relationship with her are crucial. The love you give her is her starting point to understanding what love actually is and how it is to be lived out. You have other loves in your life, but she doesn't. For better or worse, every man who enters her life will be compared to you; every relationship she has with a man will be filtered through her relationship with you. You are her father. You are her first love. You are the most important man in her life. 

3. She wants a hero

When you were a little guy, people started asking you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I'm sure your first thoughts were Football Star, Batman, Superman, Cowboy or a PoliceO Officer. When you were little, you wanted to be a hero. Well now you have that chance. Your daughter is looking for a hero ...and she is looking right at you. 

Heroes persevere. Heroes protect. Heroes are faithful to their convictions. Heroes understand right from wrong and then always do what is right. Heroes are strong, humble, and larger than life! 

When your daughter is born, she recognizes that your voice as deeper than her mothers. As a toddler, she looks up to your large frame and realizes that you are big, smart, and strong. In her grade school years, she instinctively turns to you for direction. And in her teenage years even though she may not show it, she is looking for you to stand strong in your convictions in the face of her rebellious heart. 

Whatever outward impression she gives, her life is centered on discovering what you like in her, and what you want from her. She gives you authority because she needs you to love and adore her. Many times it is hard for her to truly feel good about herself until she knows that you feel good about her. Use your authority carefully. Your daughter doesn't want to see you as an equal. She wants you to be her hero. She wants you to be wiser, steadier, and stronger than she is. 

She is looking for a hero ... and she is looking at you! 

Special Note: 

I have two daughters. At the posting of this blog. Mikayla is 18 and Lilly is 10. A few years ago my wife and I were at a bookstore and I picked up the book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Meg Meeker. As I stood in the bookstore reading I knew this was a book that I had to get and apply. This blog is based from one of the chapters of Megs book. I highly recommend that you pick up a copy and start applying it today! Here is the link CLICK HERE TO ORDER

One of the things we are doing as a church to help people with their finances.

Statistics say that most arguments in a marriage come from financial strain. Whether you are married or not, you know that grip that financial pressure can have on our lives. At TheCHURCH we have created a short social media series called "Today Money Moment" to help people start a journey toward financial peace. 

We will post it on our Facebook Wall, Website Giving Page, as well as our Youtube Channel. You are welcome to watch and share each week! 

Here is week one of today's money moment. 

To find out more about TheCHURCH ...

CLICK HERE FOR WEBSITE

CLICK HERE FOR FACEBOOK PAGE

Eight things you "must do" to make a lasting impact. (Don't read this if you don't have thick skin.)

This morning is our weekly Leadership Session as a team. Today I am going to be talking about Eight things you "must do" in order to make lasting impact. 

Here are some of the bullet point notes, from the session. This conversation is for people in the context of local church ministry, however, even if you are not in "ministry", I have no doubt that you can apply these same eight things in your life, leadership and field of expertise. 

1. Make up your min.  

What do you want to do? Do you want to serve? Do you want to preach? Do you want to be a campus pastor? I don't know what you want to do, but I do know what you need to do. You need to make up your mind! For God's sake and for the sake of those around you, stop vacillating between, I do and I don't, God called me, but nows not a good time. There is a community full of people that need help, need love, and need hope. Are you in or out? Make up your mind. 

2. Go get it. 

What do you want? Go get it! We live in America. You can do almost anything you want to do. You can accomplish almost anything you want to accomplish. You can get almost anything you want to get. But no one is going to give it to you. Let me say that again, no one is going to give it to you! If you want something, you are going to have to go get it. 

3. Put your work clothes on, because it won't be easy.

Leading a group of people, starting a ministry, finishing a project, or making a difference will never be easy. More often than not, it will be a tough, depressing, and hard. If anyone tells you differently they are lying to you! To accomplish anything you are going to have to push through pain, have faith in the midst of failure, and get used to disappointment. It won't be easy, but it will always be worth it. 

4. Forget about being the next big thing. 

I am sorry to burst your bubble but you are not the next big thing. Steven Furtick is not going to call you. Relevant magazine is not going to do an article. You won't be hitting the speaking circuit and sharing the stage with the likes of Craig Groeschel, Andy Stanley, and Matt Chandler. When you get into ministry, you are going to be a good leader, in hopefully a great organization that's making an eternal impact in the lives of people.  That's it. That's what's going to happen. You will spend your life helping others become what God has called them to be and chances are not too many people will know about it. Welcome to the ministry. 

5. Stop making excuses.

I'm too busy. I've been hurt by other leaders. I just don't feel like it's a good time. Enough already! Has God called you or not?  Moses was a murderer who could not speak well, Paul was basically a well educated terrorist, and Peter was a fishermen with no formal training in ministry. Yet when God called them, they followed. It's never going to be a good time, people will consistently disappoint you, and there will never be a day in your life where you're not busy. But none of those things change the fact that God saved you from your sin to fulfill His purpose. Stop making excuses and start making a difference. 

6. Never think you can’t do it. 

You are selling yourself short. You think you are not ready, but you are. You think you don't have what it takes, but you do. You think because you have failed before, you are going to fail again. No! The same power that raised Christ from the dead, now dwells in you. It's not your calling, it's His. It's not your talent, it's His. It's not your will power, it's His. You can do this, not because of who you are, but because of who He is! 

7. Pray

Life change is what we are striving for in the lives of people. True life change is an inside out proposition. The only one who can change peoples heart is God. Prayer is something that we know to do but very few people in ministry actually lean in on as a must do of life and leadership. I'm going to be very bold with this next statement, but I truly mean it.  if you can't take the time to pray everyday for Gods purpose, Gods people, and Gods church ... then quit and let someone else take your place that will. Because what needs to be done is something that only God can do.

8. Don't Quit. 

You and I have a tendency to overestimate what we can accomplish in a week and underestimate what we can accomplish in a lifetime. When we don't see much forward progress in the short term we quit. However, when we do this we abort what we could have accomplished had we just stayed the course and kept trying.  

I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to comment below or send me an email at growmoore@gmail.com 

3 Things that are keeping you from growing. - Notes from todays Six Minute Seminar

Every Tuesday at 12noon Pacific Time I do a Six Minute Seminar through Facebook Live on my wall. Today we did a session titled - 3 things that will keep you from growing. Here are some written notes from the video training. You can watch the actual Seminar on my facebook wall.....

CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE 6 MINUTE SEMINAR

3 Things that will keep you from growing. 

Do you want to get better? Do you? Do you really want to get better? Do you want to be a better parent - businessman - leader - pastor - speaker? Do you want to get better? 

Today I want to talk to you about 3 things that will stifle your growth and keep you where you are and hold you back from improving. 

1. LOOKING AT THE WRONG PEOPLE.

Let's say you are a 6′ tall forward in High School that averages 15 points per game for your basketball team in rural small-town America. If all you ever do is compare yourself to the local competition, kids you play in Gym class, the other kids on your team - you are going to be in for a rude awakening when you play against Division I Athletes that are All-Americans from the big city. However, if you consistently study guys that are bigger, faster and stronger than you. It will keep you humble, reveal your weaknesses and help you understand where you need to improve.

The same is true for leadership. If you are a Pastor/Youth Pastor at a slightly above average size church, with a nice website, a few staff members, and a strong offering each week and all you ever do is compare yourself to other leaders with less people, less staff, no web-site, and a small giving base than you are going to feel like you have arrived.

However, just like the Basketball player, you haven’t arrived at all. You are just looking at the wrong people. If instead of looking at Leaders that are the same or below you in certain areas, you would look at leaders with larger congregations, more staff members, multiple church locations, and much larger bank accounts, you would stay humble, see where you are weak and understand the areas that you need to improve in.

Far to many people have a “big fish in a little pond” mentality. When we do, we put a lid on our growth. I firmly believe that what we “see” is what we will “be”. 

Because of this, you and I will never grow past what we are looking at. So make sure that you look at people, organizations, and leaders that are bigger, faster, stronger and more effective than you currently are. When you do, you will stay humble and that humility will allow God to put His grace on everything you do.

2. REFUSING TO TAKE HONEST CRITIQUE

We all want to be right.I think it’s just human nature.We want to come up with a great idea, have it be amazing and then get all of the credit.

But the truth of the matter is, there are very few times in life where we as leaders come up with an idea that is absolutely perfect and cannot be improved upon. In fact I would go as far to say that there is NEVER a time in life where our ideas are perfect … everything can get better.

If you and I want to improve in life and leadership we have to be willing to open ourselves and our ideas up for critique. We have to be willing to have people sitting around a table or living life with us that care enough to say … “I think your idea is OK … but what if we did this instead”.

When we don’t do that. When you and I surround ourselves with a bunch of “yes” men or woman who are too afraid, too intimidated, or too apathetic to offer us their honest opinion …. we will never be better than our last idea. And may I be bold enough to say that our last idea … was OK at best.

If you don’t like critique … get used to the level you are at … because that is where you’re going to stay. 

3. STOP ASKING QUESTIONS

Great leaders never stop asking questions … that is why they never stop growing.I have been around some incredible leaders thru the years, and there is one thing I have noticed about all of them … they ask a ton of questions. There is always someone doing something better than you are.Find them and ask them what they are doing. When you do … you will grow.

Hope this helps - for more tips on life and leadership check out growmooreymu.com

If your in the Visalia area - love to have you join us this weekend at TheCHURCH - go to welcometothechurch.com to find service times and info. 

7 things we do that make us less effective as communicators.

Last week I was in my home town in Indiana speaking at a church conference. While I was there I set up an appointment with my old high school friend Todd Gongwer. Todd is the author of Lead for Gods Sake, and travels around the country speaking at colleges and coaching conferences. 

While we were in his office, we started picking each others brains about what we do, where we've failed, and where we are going in the future. I had a blast catching up. While we were throwing questions back and forth, the topic of speaking came up and out of that conversation I started thinking about mistakes that I've made and know that a lot of speakers make on a regular basis with their talks. So I thought I would share and unpack a few of them today in hopes that we all can become masters of our craft. 

1. Consistent passionate and loud voice flexions. 

Passion is a great thing. Moving your voice to a new level of intensity is good. However, being passionate and loud all the way from the introduction to the closing point, gets old to the listener very quickly. 

Here's a tip - let the content dictate when you go up and down in your voice flexions. Let you message breath a little. Think through when you are going to speak in normal voice, when you are going to crank it up a bit

2. Too much body movement on stage. 

Moving around the stage is a “must do” in speaking and using your hands is a very engaging thing, however, it is possible to move around so much that you take away from the message or point you are trying to make. 

Stay in control. Use your body to sell the point, to engage the listener, or get more involved as a speaker. But don't let what you do, be a distraction to what you are trying to say. 

3. When feel like you're losing the crowd you drop a cheap joke or give a golden nugget of truth. 

As communicators we have all been here many times. You feel like your point is not sinking in. You don’t feel like the crowd is with you, so you throw out a quick silly joke to get the crowd to laugh and participate. Or you throw out a golden nugget that is very true and very good, however, it has absolutely nothing to do with the message you are speaking. You just threw it out there because you felt like you are losing the crowd. 

Here’s the thing, you may be losing the crowd … but you may not be. Sometimes people are just listening (thats a good thing). As a communicator we have to lean in on our preparation and trust that we have the content that people need to hear. There is nothing wrong with making onstage modifications like being funny or dropping awe inspiring truths but always trust your content … don't do things to cheapen, or shortchange it. 

4. Telling the same story the same way you told it before. 

Sometimes, especially, if you travel and speak you will tell a story that you have told many times before. That is more than fine, because most likely the people you are speaking to have never heard the story.

The problem is, that as the speaker you have heard the story far to many times. You know the story up and down, backwards and forwards. You know the sad parts and you know the parts where everyone is going to laugh. 

All of that is fine, however, the problem comes when we get into “robot mode” in telling the story.  Robot mode sucks for the listener! Every time you tell the story you have to be “in the moment” and let the story shrink and expand to the environment you are currently in. 

Trust me, as a guy who speaks for a living every weekend as well as speaks at and attends many conferences every year … people know when you have told the story before.  Here are some tell tell signs that you are telling a story that you’ve told many times before. 

You are talking very fast. 

You know the content so well, you are flying through it.

You pause for laughter at just the perfect time. 

That is really awkward when the crowd does not laugh on cue. 

You drum up an emotional response

Pull up the tears and voice flexion changes, when you really aren’t feeling anything in the moment, but you do it because thats what the story demands

I speak three times every Sunday, so every week I am telling the same story at least three times. I also travel and speak each month and sometimes have stories that I use repeatedly in certain . Two things that I do to keep a story fresh in my heart is: I tell the story in a different order, or I leave a part of the story out. This mixes things up in my head and keeps it fresh in the moment. 

5. Spend so much time on your personal story it takes  away from the actual point you are making. 

Our personal story is not the point of the message we are giving. It is a tool that we use to set up the point or apply the point. But it is not the point. As communicators we need to spend more time on the point and less time on our story. 

6. Skim across six points but never unpack one. 

Every time we speak, we are speaking for change. We want the listener to change something. It is easier for them leave inspired to live differently, when they hear the details of one thing, rather than an overview of five or six things. 

7. Give why and the what, but never give the how. 

If you are speaking about making disciples, you need to explain WHY we should disciple, WHAT is a disciple, and then HOW we actually make a disciple. The why inspires. The what gives clarity. But it is the how, that they actually use. Never forget the how.

Here are a few questions:

Which of these seven do you typically struggle with?

Why is it that you struggle with it?

What changes can you make in preparation to remedy these? 

I would love to hear from you - comment below - or email me at growmoore@gmail.com