Where were you Adam when she needed you the most? And other questions we need to be asking ourselves as men.

This morning in my devotional time I read a familiar story from the book of Genesis. 

Genesis 3:1-7

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.’” But the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths

One of the things in this passage that I find very interesting is that the serpent spoke up and gave his opinion, Eve spoke up and gave her thoughts, however,  Adam remained completely silent during the entire event.  What if Adam, who God had originally spoken to about what would happen if they ate of the tree, had spoken up? What if Adam would have been a leader instead of an observer. 

I guess I could talk about the state of men today and how common place it is for men to sit back, put their head down, and let life happen to them and their family rather then stand up and and protect their family. However, I think it would be best for me to look in the mirror and ask myself a few question first before pointing fingers at others? 

While the Bible clearly affirms the equality of men and women (Galatians 3:28), it also tells us plainly that God has assigned the responsibility of spiritual leadership in the home to husbands: "Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them" (Colossians 3:18-19).

As the Christ Like Servant Leader of the home, what kinds of qualities are required in a husband who desires to fulfill this high and holy calling? 

A man must have strong connection with his Heavenly Father, find his happiness first and foremost in Christ. 

A man must be balanced in his commitments and nurturing in his concern for the mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of his wife and family. 

A man must be proactive, spotting potential challenges to his family and come up with workable solutions to the problem. 

A man must have integrity at all times, seeking to be the safest, wisest, and most respected man his wife and children know. 

These four qualities drive me to ask myself a few things:

Do I lead my family spiritually?

Do I stay in tune with God so that I can see physical, financial, and family battles as they are coming? Or do I get so caught up  in the day to day routine that I let life hit me and simply role with the punches like Adam did? 

Do I take the lead when battles come or do I let my wife carry all the weight of figuring out what to do and which direction we should go?

What am I doing to serve, love, protect, and support my wife in her daily life as a woman and mother?

What am I doing to serve, love, protect, and lead my children? Am I involved or simply observing?

Have I led with enough integrity that when I do speak up my wife, and children know I have their best interest in mind. 

My prayer as a man:

God from the Garden of Eden up till now, nothing much has really changed. The enemy crawls up as close to my family as he can trying to deceive us daily. Help me as a husband and father to be like Christ and not Adam. Help me to be a servant leader. Help me to be a proactive leader. Help me to be balanced in my lifestyle. Help me to have Godly character in all I do so that my wife and children are able to fulfill their God given destinies in life. 

Is your church dying or healthy? Here are seven ways you can know for sure.

I'm a Pastor. The church that I shepherd is not a mega church, however, we are a growing church. We are a body of believers that takes the great commission very seriously. As we strive to make even more of an impact in our community and the world, I want to make sure that we stay on the right path. I want us to put our energy in the right places, so that we can be healthy enough to continue to bring people to Jesus and help them live like Him for decades to come! 

Over the past 25 years, of serving in pastoral leadership as well as coaching youth pastors and church leaders across America, I've noticed a few things that differentiate a church that is healthy from a church that is on its last breath. 

Here are seven differences between a dying church and healthy church. 

1. Dying churches, remember the good old days.  Healthy churches, change in order to make tomorrow even better. 

2. Dying churches, refuse to look like their community. Healthy churches, serve the needs of the people around them. 

3. Dying churches, have an inward financial focus. Healthy churches, budget in order to make an impact outside of their four walls. 

4. Dying churches, maintain current ministries. Healthy churches, release people to fulfill the great commission. 

5. Dying churches, keep current members happy.  Healthy churches, empower members to serve the lost and hurting around them. 

6. Dying churches, rarely pray together. Healthy churches, get on their knees regularly to ask God to shine His light through them. 

7. Dying churches, don't have a clear purpose. Healthy churches, know who they are, why there are here, and where they are going. 

Just like in our physical bodies, staying healthy as a church does not happen on its own. May we as church leaders continue to lead ourselves and our churches in ways that God commands us to in His word. 

Here are a few questions. 

How many of these seven are you on the wrong side of?

Which one or two of these have been your achilles heel in times past? 

Which one of these are you going to start working on right away?

Who do you have on your team that can help you help breath life into the church body again?

I was believing a lie and it kept me from having the family, the church, the life I wanted.

One of the myths of improvement that I used to believe with all my heart is, "If I work harder, it will get better". However, after 47 years of life and 25 years of leading ministries and business ventures, I have found that statement to be totally false. Working harder, does not make anything better. 

Lets think about it for a moment. 

If you are out of shape and you want get into shape, going to the gym and working hard for two hours on Monday will not get you in those jeans you used to be able to fit into. 

If you want a better marriage, getting away for one weekend at the beach, will not make your marital issues go away. 

If you want to take your business to a new level of financial growth this year, having one sale on a Saturday is not going to make it happen. 

If you want to reach more people every Sunday morning, working hard and preparing a great message this weekend is not going to grow your church exponentially. 

The truth is working hard does not make anything better. However, working smart over a period of time will. 

I like to say it this way .... 

INTENSITY will not take you where you want to go, but CONSISTENCY will. 

Working out for two hours in the gym on a Monday will not help you. But working out for 20 minutes a day for 12 months will. 

Taking the time to get away for one weekend, will not change your marriage. But taking time to talk for 30 minutes every day over a cup of coffee will.

Having a big sale this Saturday will not take your company to a new level, but doing a weekly meeting on how you can better serve the needs of your customer will. 

Doing one great message is not going to build momentum for your church. But if you empower  your people to daily do the work of the ministry, so you can have time to prepare a life changing message every Sunday, you will not have enough chairs in your auditorium. 

Intensity does not change much, but consistency will eventually change everything. 

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Application Questions:

What do you want to improve?

What short term "work hard" initiatives have you tried to make work in the past? 

What are three things that would make a difference if you did them consistently?

What has been keeping you from doing those things?

Do you want to improve bad enough to change whatever you need to change in order to do those three things on a consistent basis?

I would love to hear from you!

Comment below or drop me an email at growmoore@gmail.com

Five things you need to know before you START.

Every Tuesday at 12noon Pacific Time, I do a free Six Minute Seminar on my Facebook wall. This weeks seminar was for people that are getting ready to start a new venture, program, business, or idea. 

Here are the notes from the seminar. 

The five things you need to know before you start your next venture all wrap around five words. 

Calling   Mission   Vision    Team   Initiative. 

1 - Calling:

If you can do anything else and be content then don't start this new thing. 

What do I mean by this? If you want to start something, but you could take it or leave it? If you do it, you would be happy, but you also could be happy doing something else …then don't launch this venture. 

There is a difference between a career, a job and a calling. If this idea you have in your head is ever going to really work, then it has to first be in your heart, you have to be ate up with it. I can’t shake this, This is a sign that you are actually called to do it. When you are called, you are less likely to quit when times get tough…. and they will. 

2 - Mission

Know why you are doing what you are going to do.

In launching and being successful at any endeavor you have to know, why you do what you do.

The WHY must always come before the WHAT. 

Here is a tip that will help you discover your WHY. Answer the question, what problem are you going to solve? When you know the problem you are solving, you know, why you are doing it. 

3 - Vision

Know what steps you are going to take to accomplish it. 

When you know the why, the next step is to know the steps you have to take to accomplish it. 

If you are going to help people find a home they love, help educate underprivileged children, or supply affordable print materials to businesses across the country, you have to know how you are going to do it. What steps are you going to need to take on a consistent bases to accomplish your mission?

4 - Team

Don’t try and do alone. 

Nothing can be done alone.

Let me say that one more time, nothing can be done alone. You have to build a team. 

To launch and run whatever initiative you have in your heart, there are probably about 10 to 15 tasks that will need to be done on a regular basis. However, you are only good at about 2 or 3 things at most. I know you think you are gifted at more than 2 or 3, but you’re not. Just because you can do something, doesn't mean you are good at it, or that you even should do it. 

If your idea is going to work, you have to surround yourself with people that have the skillsets and initiative to complete the tasks that have to be done … but you cannot or should not do. 

No matter how strongly you feel about your skillsets and call to complete the task, you are not good enough to do this alone. Build a team.

5 - Initiative

Nothing is going to happen until you start. 

You can dream, plan, talk, and prepare all you want, but at some point you are going to have to get up off the couch, push away from the white board, and actually start. 

You and your team are going to have to start making the website, start making the cold calls, start writing your messages, start training more teenagers. Nothing is going to happen on its own, you are going to have to start. 

How I've walked this out.

In the past few years, there has been two major things that I've launched. One is Youth Ministry University, a one year online training platform for Youth Pastors and the other is The Church - a body of believers that are giving our lives to bring people to Jesus and help them live like him. 

For time sake, I can’t break down the details of both today, so I will take just a few minutes to walk you through how we applied these 5 things to launch the church. 

1 - Calling

In 2012 I started to feel this stirring in my heart to launch churches, train leaders, and send shepherds out to launch more churches. I tried to forget about it, but I could not shake the idea. During this same time, I had other opportunities thrown before me. I was offered to stick around and possibly Pastor the church that I was serving in. Close friends in ministry threw out the idea to come serve on staff at other churches around the country. However,I just could not do those things. I had this one burning desire … to plant TheCHURCH.

2 - Mission

I live in a community where statistics say around 94,000 people are not following Jesus. And a lot of the people that I do know that go to church, have not actually turned, changed or decided to  follow the teachings of Jesus in a personal way.  That is a real problem. So we knew that God was calling us that would be both evangelistic and discipleship driven at the same time. Our mission is to “Bring people to Jesus and help them live like Him”. That is the why that drives our what. 

3 - Vision

The way we would accomplish our mission is by walking out Acts 2:42-47. Gathering on the weekend, Growing in a group, Giving to Gods kingdom, and Going back out into our world. Each week would would simply inspire and equip people to gather, grow, give, and go! This is our vision. 

4 - Team

Even as passionate as I was, I knew there was no way in the world could do this alone. So I started contacting and learning from my ministry mentors that were way farther along that I was. We set up a board, we trained up our worship team leader, media director, kids ministry team leader, and first impressions director. We had a small but passionate team of leaders ready to walk our vision. 

5 - Initiative

We did not have much, but we had enough to start. So we did. We started meeting in our home all the while using social media as a platform to release our online sermons to the masses. We started growing so we rented a facility on the weekends. We filled out the legal proper paperwork, raised money, and started TheCHURCH. 

Today, a few hundred people call TheCHURCH their home. We have incredible team members serving in our ministries and disciples are being made every week. 

This has happened … because we know we are called, we understand our mission, we built a team to walk out our mission, and we just started. 

Three hard truths that few people will tell you when you are starting a new program, ministry, church, or initiative. 

1 - You are not going to be the next big thing. 

You are going to make a big difference in the lives of people. You are going to accomplish your goal. But you are not going to be famous, well known, or the next big thing. If those things are your motivation ... you will not last long. 

2 - You are going to fail more than you think you will. 

It is not if you fail ... but when. You cannot have great success, without failing. Their are two keys in failing, 1. Don't make the same mistake twice. 2 . When you fail ask yourself and your team is, "What can we learn from this". 

3 - Not everyone is going to like what you do. 

The other businesses in town are not going to cheer you on. Other churches most likely will not be calling you to say, good luck. In fact, family members and friends might even think that you are crazy. We don't what we do for the pleasure of those around us, we perform for an audience of one. Our creator. 

When you know that you are called, develop a strong mission, walk out your vision, by building a team, and simply starting. 

Good luck!

Three things your daughter wishes you knew, but will probably never tell you.

Dad, your daughter needs you.

More than anyone else, it is you who will set the course for your daughters life. She needs you. She needs your strength, your intelligence, your courage, your assertiveness, your self confidence and your leadership. 

Dad, your daughter needs you.

Here are a few things your daughter wishes that you knew. 

1. You are the most important man in her life.

Your daughters is never lukewarm in your presence. When you enter the room everything about her changes. Her eyes, her mouth, her gestures, her body language. You girl might take her mom for granted, but not you. She will light up - or she will cry. She watches you intensely. She hangs on your words. Whether you notice it or not, she is hoping for your attention, and she waits in frustration - or despair until she receives it.  She is looking for a gesture of approval, a nod of encouragement, or even simple eye contact to let her know you care. 

When she is in your company, your daughter tries harder to excel. When you teach her, she learns more rapidly. When you guide her, she gains confidence. I think if as fathers we fully understood just how profoundly we can influence our daughters life, we would be terrified and possibly overwhelmed by the weight of it. Boyfriends, brothers, and even husbands can't shape her character the way you do. You will influence her entire life because she gives you an authority that she gives no other man. You are the most important man that she knows. 

2. You are her first love

Your daughter identifies easily with her mother, but you are a mystery to her. You are her first love. Because of this the early years of your relationship with her are crucial. The love you give her is her starting point to understanding what love actually is and how it is to be lived out. You have other loves in your life, but she doesn't. For better or worse, every man who enters her life will be compared to you; every relationship she has with a man will be filtered through her relationship with you. You are her father. You are her first love. You are the most important man in her life. 

3. She wants a hero

When you were a little guy, people started asking you, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I'm sure your first thoughts were Football Star, Batman, Superman, Cowboy or a PoliceO Officer. When you were little, you wanted to be a hero. Well now you have that chance. Your daughter is looking for a hero ...and she is looking right at you. 

Heroes persevere. Heroes protect. Heroes are faithful to their convictions. Heroes understand right from wrong and then always do what is right. Heroes are strong, humble, and larger than life! 

When your daughter is born, she recognizes that your voice as deeper than her mothers. As a toddler, she looks up to your large frame and realizes that you are big, smart, and strong. In her grade school years, she instinctively turns to you for direction. And in her teenage years even though she may not show it, she is looking for you to stand strong in your convictions in the face of her rebellious heart. 

Whatever outward impression she gives, her life is centered on discovering what you like in her, and what you want from her. She gives you authority because she needs you to love and adore her. Many times it is hard for her to truly feel good about herself until she knows that you feel good about her. Use your authority carefully. Your daughter doesn't want to see you as an equal. She wants you to be her hero. She wants you to be wiser, steadier, and stronger than she is. 

She is looking for a hero ... and she is looking at you! 

Special Note: 

I have two daughters. At the posting of this blog. Mikayla is 18 and Lilly is 10. A few years ago my wife and I were at a bookstore and I picked up the book "Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters" by Meg Meeker. As I stood in the bookstore reading I knew this was a book that I had to get and apply. This blog is based from one of the chapters of Megs book. I highly recommend that you pick up a copy and start applying it today! Here is the link CLICK HERE TO ORDER