Ok, your 20’s are in full swing and my guess is you are looking for someone. Someone special. Someone that catches your eye as well as your heart. That is so great! However, before you rush out on a series of dates and fall in love. Take a few minutes to read, ponder, and apply these next 10 tips. I think you will be glad you did.
1. Take it slow.
What is the hurry? You aren’t going anywhere - they aren’t going anywhere. Don’t go so fast.
"Decisions that are made quickly are quickly regretted."
Other than surrendering your life to Jesus - Who you tie your heart to is the most foundational decision you will ever make. So take your time. The world is not going to have a man and woman shortage anytime soon. Take it slow.
2. Master the Basics.
Relationships are like a house - you have to have a good foundation. To build that foundation - here are some questions you need to have answers for.
Do you believe the same things about faith - God - eternity?
Are you both going the same direction in life - location - goals?
Do you make each other better? Does this person bring out the best in you? Draw you closer to Jesus? Or do they bring tension and stress? When you are with them, do you find yourself making decisions you regret or decisions that make you better?
The only way you can find out the answer to these questions is by mastering the fundamental of talking. Far too many people spend more time looking at each other, a movie screen, or their phone on a date rather than talking.
Far too many people spend a lot of time touching (holding hands - kissing - and other physical activities that hormone filled 20somethigns do) but not enough time talking. You have to master the art of TALKING to find out if this person is really for you.
3. Get to know the person not the body.
Studies have shown us through the years that relationships that are built on physical touch, do not last very long. Because of this, don’t get physical. Get to know who they are as a person and what they believe, not just their body. You know you are attracted to them, but do you know if you are comparable?
4. Don't take it so serious.
Here is some good advice – relax. You like them and they like you, but you are not married yet. So don’t act like it. Have fun. Don't be so serious.
5. Look for Chemistry not romance.
All great teams have chemistry. You are looking for a great teammate so find someone that you can talk with, laugh with and hang out with for long periods of time. Chemistry is the key word. Romance is a feeling that with the right lighting - right food - right atmosphere - can be manipulated to make a special moment and then it's gone, but chemistry is something that last.
6. Date only Christians
Scripture teaches that two people cannot walk together unless they are going in the same direction. I know he looks great in those jeans - I know her legs are incredible - but are her legs following Jesus! What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul. You never want to tie yourself to somone emotionally that is not going the same spiritual direction as you.
7. Set good boundaries.
Boundaries do not hold you back, boundaries, set you free. So before you go out on a big date, clearly define your personal boundaries on physical touch and other important issues.
8. Save sex for when you are married.
I know this is such an archaic view compared to todays standards. But look around you. Is how we currently walk out sexual expression in America working? Nope! So maybe you should live out your sexuality in a different way. Maybe you should try Gods way. God says that Sex is not something people that love each other do, sex is something that people in convenent relationship of marriage do.
9. Pursue Jesus more than you pursue a person.
In relationships, who you are will determine who you need. Because of this, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. When you find out who Jesus is and who you are in Him. Who you are will determine who you need as a teammate in life.
10. Never Settle.
Never settle for someone who is not a believer. Never settle for living together over marriage. Marriage is beautiful fulfilling
You are the head and not the tail! Jesus did not die for you to settle. Jesus died for you to soar! Become who Christ has called you to be and you will find who Christ has called you to be with.