Youth Ministry Tip: Think Like a Parent (Part One)

I have been serving in Youth Ministry in one form or another for 24 years. You know one thing I have never had a parent ask me? I have never had a parent ask me "How many kids are in your Youth Group". 

Isn't that odd? 

In a ministry world where the conversation often turns to size, numbers, and how how many are you running, I never remember a parent asking me about the size of the group, number of attendance, or how many are in the room each week. 

Why is that? 

Could it be that parents are more concerned with safety, positive friendships, and spiritual growth of their children than the number of people in the room?

Maybe we as Youth Pastors should think more like a parent.

Maybe we should concentrate on making sure we create a physically and emotionally safe environment for teenagers on a weekly basis. 

Maybe we should create space during our gatherings for teenagers to cultivate authentic relationships with other students and Godly adults. 

Maybe we should put more energy in growing our teenagers spiritually, helping them read and understand the scriptures, live a life of victory, and press on even when they fail. 

Thinking like a parent requires that we spend more time giving teenagers what they need, safety, friendships, and authentic faith, and less time manufacturing what we want, a fun night and a full room. 

When we think like a parent, we might just make disciples. And isn't that what this thing is all about?

Youth Ministry Tips: Making disciples not attracting attendees.

In making disciples we have got to grab ahold of this truth - growth happens best in a group.

If someone wants to be a better basketball player, they don't just shoot hoops alone in the driveway they join a Basketball team. (A small group consisting of a coach and 12 to 15 players) 

If someone wants to be a better painter, they don't just purchase some paint supplies and become Picasso alone in their room. Instead they take a painting class. (A small group consisting of a teacher and 12 to 15 painters) 

If someone wants to grow in their walk with Christ, they don't just go to a church or grab a Bible and start reading it. If they want to grow they get involved in a small group led by a seasoned Christian and 12 to 15 other believers. 

Youth Pastor grab ahold of this truth. Growth happens best in a group. 

If you want your teenagers to grow, give them a group to be a part of. 

One of the greatest things we have ever done to make disciples in students ministry is Turn Life. Turn Life is a four week small group that teenagers go through to get a firm footing in their walk with Jesus. 

Turn Life has taken on many forms through the years, to fit the culture of the church we served in however, this is how we serve teenagers at TheCHURCH with this disciple making tool. 

Turn Life meets from 6:30 to 7:05 every Wednesday Night before our normal ECHO youth service. In a small group setting with a group leader, video message, discussion time and prayer, teenagers discover four key foundational steps in walking with Jesus. 

Wk One:
How to keep serving Jesus, even when the feelings are gone.

Wk Two:
How to read and understand the Bible.

Wk Three:
How to walk in victory over sin.

Wk Four:
What to do when they mess up.

Every student that completes the Turn Life program, is invited to a special graduation ceremony. The ceremony takes place during one of our weekend services. Students make a public profession of their faith in Jesus, we pray over each of them, and give each graduate a new Bible. 

In 20+ years of serving in youth ministry we have had over 1,100 young people graduate from our discipleship program. Several of these graduates have gone onto serve as youth pastors, executive pastors, senior pastors, and missionaries; while many more have grown into faithful spouses, christian parents, and christ followers in the work place. This is the goal of youth ministry - helping teenagers grow into fully devoted followers of Jesus long after they graduate High School. 

Of course we have done and do many other things with our students to continue their personal pursuit of Christ. However, we found that a four week small group like Turn Life was a great first step in the journey. 

If you would like more information about how you can build disciples not just attract attendees, email me at growmoore@gmail.com. I'd love to connect with you. 

A man, a bench, and a dream.

Today I was in my office thinking about a time several years ago when my family spent the day at Disneyland here in California. What an incredible place to spend the day.  The rides. The workers.  The food.  The landscape. Everything was perfect. Everything was thought thru. Everything was as if they had been planning on us coming and spending some time with them.

I loved everything that I experienced at Disneyland.

With all that being said the most memorable moment of the day for me was at the end of the night when I walked into a room that had a park bench leaning up against the wall.  Above the bench was a plaque that read “The Park Bench from the Griffeth Park Merry-Go-Round in Los Angeles where Walt Disney first dreamed of Disneyland”.

As I stood there looking at the place where everything I had experienced that day was imagined for the very first time, I was profoundly moved.  A man, a bench and a dream made the world a little better place.

Today, why don't we go to a park, find a bench, and begin to dream again. 

Lift Your Leadership Notes: Five things you need to know about Leadership.

Every Thursday we do a Lift Your Leadership Training event for our team that is open to the church and public. Here are a few bullet points from this weeks training session titled, "Five things you need to now about leadership."  

Feel free to take, apply and teach these principles to you team. 

1 – EVERYTHING RISES AND FALLS ON LEADERSHIP

Anywhere you find a great family, business, church or community, there will be a great leader in the mix somewhere. No Leadership = No Progress.

2 – FIND A TIMOTHY AND SERVE A PAUL

2 Timothy 2:2 says, "These things you have heard from me Timothy give to faithful men who shall be able to teach others also." 

In this passage we see a cascade of leadership. Paul influenced Timothy, Timothy influenced faithful men, and the faithful men reached others for God's kingdom. If you want to become all that you can be, maximize your leadership, and build something that continues long after you are gone, you need to find a Timothy and serve a Paul. 

Find a Timothy that you can train, teach, and raise up to take your place. 

Find a Paul that you can serve, love, and learn from. 

Who is your Timothy?

Who is your Paul?

3 – IT'S NOT HOW GOOD YOU ARE, BUT HOW GOOD YOU WANT TO BE

You have some measure of influence. You may have influence over yourself, your family, your community, or your church. But you have at least one person that is looking to you.

Leadership is not about the number of people you have following you, it is about the character in which you lead those around you.

So the question isn’t are you a leader.  The question is how good of a leader do you want to be.

4 – THREE THINGS THAT WILL CAP YOUR LEADERSHIP LID

LOOKING AT THE WRONG PEOPLE.

If you are a 6′ tall forward in High School that averages 15 points per game for your basketball team in rural small-town America and all you ever do is compare yourself to the local competition. You are going to be in for a rude awakening when you play against Division I Athletes that are All-Americans from the big city.

However, if you constantly study guys that are bigger, faster and stronger than you. It will keep you humble, reveal your weaknesses and help you understand where you need to improve.

The same is true for leadership. If you are a Pastor/Youth Pastor at a slightly above average size church, with a nice website, a few staff members, and a strong offering each week and all you ever do is compare yourself to other leaders with less people, less staff, no web-site, and a small giving base than you are going to feel like you have arrived.

However, just like the Basketball player, you haven’t arrived … you are just looking at the wrong people.

If instead of looking at Leaders that are the same or below you in certain areas, you would look at leaders with larger congregations, more staff members, multiple church locations, and much larger bank accounts, you would stay humble, see where you are weak and understand the areas that you need to improve in.

Far to many Christian Leaders have a “big fish in a little pond” mentality. When we do, we put a lid on our growth. I firmly believe that what we “see” is what we will “be”. Because of this, you and I will never grow past what we are looking at. So make sure that you look at people, organizations, and leaders that are bigger, faster, stronger and more effective than you currently are. When you do, you will stay humble and that humility will allow God to put His grace on everything you do.

I think his Grace is strong enough to open up your leadership lid and help you go to the next level.

REFUSING TO TAKE HONEST CRITIQUE

We all want to be right.
I think it’s just human nature.
We want to come up with a great idea, have it be amazing and then get all of the credit.

But the truth of the matter is, there are very few times in life where we as leaders come up with an idea that is absolutely perfect and cannot be improved upon. In fact I would go as far to say that there is NEVER a time in life where our ideas are perfect … everything can get better.

If you and I want to improve in life and leadership we have to be willing to open ourselves and our ideas up for critique. We have to be willing to have people sitting around a table or living life with us that care enough to say … “I think your idea is OK … but what if we did this instead”.

When we don’t do that. When you and I surround ourselves with a bunch of “yes” men or woman who are too afraid, too intimidated, or too apathetic to offer us their honest opinion …. we will never be better than our last idea. And may I be bold enough to say that our last idea … was OK at best.

If you want everyone in the room to agree with you … get used to where you are.
Because that is the only place you will ever be.

STOP ASKING QUESTIONS

Great leaders never stop asking questions … that is why they never stop growing. I have been around some incredible leaders thru the years, and there is one thing I have noticed about all of them … they ask a ton of questions.There is always someone doing something better than you are.Find them and ask them what they are doing. When you do … you will grow.

5 – THREE QUALITIES FOUND IN THE HEART OF EVERY GREAT LEADER

HUNGRY HEART:

I would take a hungry leader over a talented leader any day of the week.The only difference between an ordinary and extraordinary person, is the word extra. Their extra time, extra study, extra practice will take them places where those who were not hungry enough to do “extra” will never go.

HUMBLE HEART:

Humility always serves it’s authority well.

Humility is being confident that you are good, but not feeling the need to tell everyone.

Humility is the key God’s promotion in every area of our lives.

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

HONEST HEART:

People who have a problem lying really don’t have a lying problem as much as they have a “doing something wrong” problem. When we do the right thing, being honest becomes a lot easier.

When you lie you lose the ability to lead a group of people. Why is that? Because leadership is influence. Trust builds equity in the relationship and distrust erodes it. Don’t believe me, just ask Richard Nixon – Bill Clinton – Roger Clemens or the plethora of Pastors standing on the sidelines of ministry today.

Twenty-Somethings Guide to Dating

Ok, your 20’s are in full swing and my guess is you are looking for someone. Someone special. Someone that catches your eye as well as your heart. That is so great! However, before you rush out on a series of dates and fall in love. Take a few minutes to read, ponder, and apply these next 10 tips. I think you will be glad you did. 

1. Take it slow. 

What is the hurry?  You aren’t going anywhere - they aren’t going anywhere. Don’t go so fast.

"Decisions that are made quickly are quickly regretted."

Other than surrendering your life to Jesus - Who you tie your heart to is the most foundational decision you will ever make. So take your time. The world is not going to have a man and woman shortage anytime soon. Take it slow. 

2. Master the Basics. 

Relationships are like a house - you have to have a good foundation. To build that foundation - here are some questions you need to have answers for. 

Do you believe the same things about faith - God - eternity?

Are you both going the same direction in life - location - goals?

Do you make each other better? Does this person bring out the best in you? Draw you closer to Jesus?  Or do they bring tension and stress?  When you are with them, do you find yourself making decisions you regret or decisions that make you better?

The only way you can find out the answer to these questions is by mastering the fundamental of talking. Far too many people spend more time looking at each other, a movie screen, or their phone on a date rather than talking. 

Far too many people spend a lot of time touching (holding hands - kissing - and other physical activities that hormone filled 20somethigns do) but not enough time talking. You have to master the art of TALKING to find out if this person is really for you. 

3. Get to know the person not the body.  

Studies have shown us through the years that relationships that are built on physical touch, do not last very long. Because of this, don’t get physical. Get to know who they are as a person and what they believe, not just their body. You know you are attracted to them, but do you know if you are comparable?

4. Don't take it so serious. 

Here is some good advice – relax. You like them and they like you, but you are not married yet.  So don’t act like it.  Have fun. Don't be so serious. 

5. Look for Chemistry not romance. 

All great teams have chemistry.  You are looking for a great teammate so find someone that you can talk with, laugh with and hang out with for long periods of time. Chemistry is the key word. Romance is a feeling that with the right lighting - right food - right atmosphere - can be manipulated to make a special moment and then it's gone, but chemistry is something that last. 

6. Date only Christians

Scripture teaches that two people cannot walk together unless they are going in the same direction.  I know he looks great in those jeans - I know her legs are incredible - but are her legs following Jesus! What does it profit a man to gain the whole world but lose his soul. You never want to tie yourself to somone emotionally that is not going the same spiritual direction as you. 

7. Set good boundaries. 

Boundaries do not hold you back, boundaries, set you free.  So before you go out on a big date, clearly define your personal boundaries on physical touch and other important issues.

8. Save sex for when you are married. 

Sex is a wonderful thing.  But, it is not for you.  Not right now.

God says to save sex for the marriage covenant not because he wants to keep you from having fun … he wants to protect you.

I know this is such an archaic view compared to todays standards. But look around you. Is how we are walking out sexual expression in America working? Nope! So maybe you should live out your sexuality in a different way. Maybe you should try Gods way. God says that Sex is not something people that love each other do, sex is something that people in convenent relationship of marriage do. 

9. Pursue Jesus more than you pursue a person. 

In relationships, who you are will determine who you need. Because of this, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you. When you find out who Jesus is and who you are in Him. Who you are will determine who you need as a teammate in life. 

10. Never Settle. 

Never settle for someone who is not a believer. Never settle for living together over marriage. Marriage is beautiful fulfilling 

You are the head and not the tale! Jesus did not die for you to settle. Jesus died for you to soar! Become who christ has called you to be and you will find who Christ has called you to marry.