Dealing with confrontation.

When dealing with confrontation, most of us were taught the "confrontation sandwich". Let the person you are confronting know, "Here is what your doing good, here is what your doing wrong, and then end the conversation on a high note letting them know something they are doing really well". We are taught to do this with the hope that taking the time to talk about the good will soften the blow of what they are doing wrong. 

I don't subscribe to the confrontation sandwich theory ... here is why. 

With some people, the two compliments to one correction will have them leaving saying, " Hey actually I’m doing pretty good … I’ve done two things right and only one thing wrong".

Here is how you handle confrontation:

1 - Confront them personally.

Always be man or woman enough to talk to the person personally about the situation, do not tear them down privately behind closed doors to your other team members. Chewing people up in private, sows a bad seed of distrust with you and with the other employees / team members in your ministry or organization.  

I worked at a place of business like that before. Whoever wasn't at the table got ripped apart. It did not take too long before I began to wonder, when I am not at the table, am I getting talked about as well?  There was very little trust between teammates and supervisors which caused us all to severely underperform.  

2 - Confront quickly and conversationally. 

When someone is dropping the ball, don’t wait till the small problem grows into a large one, and then hold a big private meeting with them to talk about the situation. When something happens, just pull them aside and talk to them about the situation. You need to develop a work environment where people can speak freely, conversationally and improve quickly 

3 - Confront Head On.

When you confront, be open and get to the point. "Hey, we are going to have a tough conversation. The reason is, I really care about you and I care about the company, so lets talk about a few things ....". 

No one likes confrontation. But I've found that these three steps help me handle it correctly.